There are some rather dear cut rules that apply to every divorce. Pay heed to these rules and your divorce will be easier and less painful for all involved.
Have Reasonable Expectations. You will certainly be disappointed if you expect to “win” on every issue. Rarely is either party happy about every ruling in a case. Even the best rulings leave both parties somewhat dissatisfied. Encourage your attorney to give you a realistic projection of the outcome of your case.
Keep Communication Open With Your Spouse/Ex-Spouse. As long as you have children, you and your (ex-) spouse with have to work together. Your children will suffer to the degree that you and your former spouse cannot cooperate and communicate.
Get Professional Help To Deal With Your Emotions. If you have trouble with the hostility, anger, or depression that often occurs in divorces, do not hesitate to get counseling to help you through it. Use professional help to deal with your hostility. Do not use the court, your attorney, or the system to vent your anger; that would be counterproductive. A good counselor can help you, and your children, get through this difficult time.
Encourage And Support Visitation. If you are the custodial parent, you have a duty to encourage visitation. You must do more than just stay out of the way or leave the choice to the children. Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently and to enjoy the contact. Never use support or visitation as a lever or bargaining chip in dealing with the other parent.
Give Your Children A Chance. The way you and your spouse handle your divorce will have an enormous impact upon your children. If you argue and fight, their problems and pain will be magnified. By acting civilly, you can help them through one of the most difficult events of their lives.
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